An oldie but a goodie: Appeasing the publishing gods

Feverish drum beats echo through the sultry jungle night as natives bearing torches, like a line of wavering fireflies, make their way up the side of a rumbling volcano. The tropical breezes drift past unnoticed as they climb past trees and around boulders, each clutching a sacrifice to his or her breast.

Finally, as they attain the rim, the reverberation of seismic activity throws them to the ground. Their chief is the first to struggle to his feet.

"My fellow writers!" he thunders to the crowd, "we must appease the publishing gods. Have you your sacrifices?"

As one, their affirmative cry rises over the grumble of the volcano.

"And are they first drafts, unedited and pure in their original form, printed on pastel paper in colored inks so they are sure to get the attention of an editor?"

"Yes! Yes!"

"Are you certain you have made no attempt whatever to research which publishers might be interested in your genre or type of writing?"

"Yes!" The natives are in a wild frenzy by now, waving their manuscripts over their heads.

"It is time!" shrieks the chief. "Throw your sacrifices into the volcano. The publishing gods must be appeased!"

In a cascade of colorful papers completely lacking sufficiently postaged self-addressed stamped envelopes for return responses, the manuscripts plunge into the fiery depths where they are incinerated before they can touch the molten maelstrom below. A wailing keen fills the darkness as the natives hurry down into their jungle huts.

"Do you think we'll hear anything this time?" one native whispers to his neighbor.

"Absolutely. This time I added a handwritten note about how my kids and wife loved my story. I'm guessing they'll get back to me in less than two weeks. By the way, I'm looking for an illustrator for my picture book. Can you recommend anyone?"

New Blog/Website

I am so excited about my new website. This new WordPress site is fun because it is easy (at this point). It combines all the things I love: photography, writing, music and video! And, it is making my walk to work much more interesting because now that I have my cellphone camera, I can document cool and interesting things every day. I don't seem to have a lot of words to say about them, yet, but I am enjoying looking at my world in a fresh new way!

LauraKnoerr.com -- the website

Book review of 'Phillipa Knickerbocker Glory and the Ice Cream Castle'

Saturdays hold a special lure for Phillipa, for they are the day on which her mum always makes her a special ice cream treat called a Knickerbocker Glory. What girl wouldn't like giant glasses loaded with ice cream, sprinkles, and fruit?

Phillipa loves Knickerbocker Glories so much that she's sure she could eat them every day, but one Saturday when she closes her eyes to savor the creamy goodness on her tongue, she gets a surprise that she hasn't bargained for. Sheopens her eyes to find herself in a strange, sticky tunnel which leads to a magical land complete with castles and a queen who wants Phillipa's help in tasting ice cream.

Phillipa agrees to do the queen's bidding, but as flavor after flavor pours out of the ice cream making machine, will Phillipa finally discover that, as much as she loves ice cream, there is such a thing as too much?

Phillipa Knickerbocker Glory and the Ice Cream Castle is a self-published book by new UK author Sarahjane Funnell. A nicely bound paperback containing colorful illustrations by Amie Bilsby, Sarahjane's book will appeal to the younger girl who loves ice cream, castles, and a little fantasy for good measure. Visit Sarahjane's website for more information about her book or to download Phillipa Knickerbocker Glory coloring pages, recipes, and desktop images.

A copy of this book was provided by the author for this review. There was no compensation received for this review, and the opinions expressed, whether positive or negative, are my own. 

Did you ever get the feeling that something was missing?

Last week we packed up and headed to Grandma's farm for a well-deserved spring break week in the country. After we arrived, I took a deep breath of that good country air. There would be few phone calls and absolutely no internet. I had all my art stuff in multiple bags and rolling carts. It was going to be great. That is, it was going to be great until I realized I had left something important far, far behind at home.

My suitcase.

After a good laugh at myself, I headed out to Walmart and pick up a few things I absolutely had to have to make it through the week. With those purchases and a couple of t-shirt donations from my brother and my mom, I was in good shape. After all, I reasoned, it's not like I needed a lot of special clothes to burn brush, play with barn cats, and hike in the fields.

But for that split second when I realized I had left something fairly important behind, I could have kicked myself. I really do hate it when I mess up.

Which brings me back to writing. Have you ever finished a story, chapter, or book and gotten the uncomfortable feeling that something just isn't quite right? What do you tend to leave behind in your writing? Is it your characters? your dialogue? or (heaven forbid) your plot?

Lost in Byzantium

I have become so fascinated with this lost empire that was a trade, governmental, cultural, scientific and knowledge hub of Europe and the Middle East during the middle ages. The architecture, the influence of Greek language and study, and its art still remain.

Byzantine history should also serve as a warning since our own country's history in some way imitates it. The U.S. was deliberately created to be a Christian nation. Constantinople, the Byzantine capitol, was established as the new center of power for the Christian Roman Empire in 324 AD. Located advantageously between Asia and Europe with land and sea access, it was specifically chosen and designed for that purpose.

The Empire fell to the Ottomans in 1353 and Constantinople and most of the Asian portion of its empire has been a Muslim entity ever since. For over one thousand years, Byzantium was a powerful Christian force, but for almost 800 years it has been a seat of power for Islam. What happened? That is a fascinating story indeed, and that is where we should set ourselves to learn from history. As a writer, my job is to tell the lessons of history in a fresh and interesting way that can be understood in our own time. One can only get lost in research for so long...

The diligent hand: don't underestimate it

Photo by Mary Morgan

I completed an interview this week of illustrator John Manders. Among his many accomplishments, John has illustrated more than 30 children's books. Beyond that, he's also done more illustrations for children's magazines than I care to count. Taking valuable time from his busy schedule, he answered my questions in more detail than I had expected, which was tremendous. Like a vein of gold running throughout his obvious joy at illustrating and sometimes writing children's books, you couldn't miss the central message.

The secret to his success is that he works hard. Very hard.

Every day, John gets up early and goes to his studio where he puts in a solid day of work. Yes, he takes out time to walk his dog India who likes to doze nearby while he works. Yes, he has dinner and takes walks with his wife while they catch up with each other in the evening. But even after a long day, he often returns to the studio for a couple of extra hours of work. By my calculations, I'm guessing that he's probably logging ten hour days. Maybe more depending on his deadlines.

The moral to this story? Never underestimate diligence. Sure, you can be talented. Sure, you can be smart. Those are good things. But good, old-fashioned hard work is the foundation that will cause you to have the staying power of a true craftsman of excellence in whatever you do.

Comments? How do you cultivate excellence in your own craft? Have you seen benefits from your stick-to-itness?

Revisiting Shakespeare

One of the greatest writers of all time was William Shakespeare. To start your Monday, here's a post that will tickle you if you're a Shakespeare fan. (Just think of it as something to get your creative juices flowing and your funny bone in shape.) 

I absolutely dare you not to laugh during this piece. I don't believe you can do it.