Sunday, August 28, 2011

An agent's or editor's dream come true (not)

Dear Agent or Editor:

I have recently had a fabulous idea for a book, and I wanted to share it with you because I'm sure it would be a perfect choice for publication. I'm certain that you're going to go wild over it, because it's a shoo-in as a hit movie. At this point, I'm guessing that there will be multiple printings of the book in addition to the movie deal. Possibly we'll be looking at action figures, because when I ran it by my kids and all their friends, they were absolutely ecstatic.

Before I go into the particulars, I'd like to know what kind of contract I will be looking at for this blockbuster. I'm thinking a five-figure advance would be acceptable, but with the vying that will be taking place on this manuscript, you might want to go with six-figures to insure you're in the running. I've looked into copyrighting my idea, but since I haven't done this yet, I'm sure you'll understand that until I hear from the first publishers or agents to respond, I can't give out the plot details.

I urge you to make your offer quickly and have included my email address so that you can contact me before it's too late. I'm starting the first draft this week.


I. M. Naive


  1. This is too funny, but the sad part is that some people probably think this is how writers get their books published. If only they knew the truth.

  2. I'm pretty sure they'll figure it out after awhile, but it's always better to do it the easy way rather than the hard way.
    : )

  3. Dear I.M. - Maybe your kids should publish the book and illustrate it with crayons!