My wonderful husband and I had a very interesting conversation recently. What does this have to do with writing? Absolutely nothing! But I was extremely amused at my discovery and expressed to him my desire to share these words of wisdom.
Men and women are different, that's a given. The following has been commonly said by experts and commonly observed by myself.
When a wife approaches her husband with a problem, he will immediately try to find a solution to the problem. Most of the time the wife is not looking for a solution, but to talk it out, vent, or perhaps just have someone who will listen. Then be taken in his arms and told that everything is going to be all right.
Upon relaying a problem to my husband last night he proceeded to tell me exactly what I should do to remedy it. I humorously informed him ONCE AGAIN, that I was not looking to HIM to solve this problem. He couldn't understand why I would tell him something and not expect a solution.
Here it is. I just wanted to talk it out, to share what I was going through inside and have someone listen, and care. I explained that if I wanted him to help remedy the problem I would at the end of my pondering, ASK him for his help.
This was a breakthrough! I think he finally got it. Of course we will probable have this same conversation a month from now, but for now he understood.
Then the conversation lead down a different path.
Generally, when a women wants a man to do something say around the house, she will say, "Honey that chair leg really needs to be fixed."
"Okay, I'll get to it," he grunts.
Two weeks later, the chair leg sits untouched.
I was informed by my husband during this conversation, that I can't just tell him something needs to be done (even though he is the only one who can fix it). I must say something like, "Honey, could you please fix the chair today?"
We were in stitches over our discoveries of each other after almost fifteen years of marriage. The light bulbs were turned on and we had a better understanding of each others needs.
We have never ARRIVED, there is always something new to learn. We just need to try and keep the journey fun, and laugh at ourselves along the way. :)
When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen. - Ernest Hemingway
Men and women belong to different species, and communication between them is a science still in its infancy. - Bill Cosby
Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. -Benjamin Franklin